My reading life took a sharp turn when we decided it was time to start trying for a baby. I’m the type of person who loves to read any and all books about topics I’m currently curious about. Naturally, this was no different when it comes to pregnancy books! Today I’m sharing some pregnancy and parenting books I’ve already read or am currently reading to prepare for having a baby.
Pregnancy and Parenting Books I Finished
Real Food for Pregnancy
This is a great read even if pregnancy isn’t totally on your radar yet. The way you eat for months or years in advance will affect how your pregnancy goes, not to mention how your monthly cycles go before pregnancy! I feel much more confident about how to eat to nourish my body well from this book.
I adored this book. Emily Oster is an economist who, when she discovered she was pregnant, wanted to find out the whys of common pregnancy advice and the numbers behind them. I feel that way too! She looked up tonnnns of studies and her training as an economist makes her well-suited to interpret the data. I particularly like how she gives you the facts and lets you make a decision for yourself. With no shaming. It was also helpful to read what decisions she made and why. I never felt like I needed to make the same exact decisions as her when reading (well, except maybe the decision not to smoke and do hard drugs, but I digress). This book made me feel a lot more confident when it came to navigating things like lunch meat, scooping the litter boxes, and choosing which prenatal tests to do.
As someone who has lived in France for a year, I found this book fun and nostalgic. The author definitely had a strong French bias – as in, the French parenting way is THE way. That being said, there were still a lot of good things in the book and I’ll probably revisit it again in the future. It’s worth reading as food for thought and a look into another culture, even if you don’t plan on following the advice.
Pregnancy and Parenting Books I’m Currently Reading
Before You Were Born I Knew You
This book is all about “praying for your pregnancy, birth, and baby.” Phylicia is one of my top 3 favorite Instagram follows. I’ve learned so much from her over the years about theology, parenting, and pregnancy! So far I’m loving this book. It’s encouraging and also gives me ways to pray over my pregnancy, upcoming birth, and baby in ways I wouldn’t have thought of (especially since this is our first!). Would highly recommend purchasing this ebook!
I picked this up based on the advice of Nancy Ray and love it so far. I’m going against my grain and NOT reading ahead. The chapters are divided into weeks of pregnancy. Each week gives you an update on what’s happening with your body, with baby, and some advice for the pregnancy in general. I love the more natural approach to birth and am so enjoying reading this one as I go.
This is a book that Charles and I are reading together. I’ve been somewhat overwhelmed when it comes to all the different parenting styles and philosophies. Since we’ll both be working after baby is born, I felt that a structured parenting style made more sense for us, so this is what we’re starting with. I’d love to read books with other philosophies as well, but I haven’t stumbled across any yet. I would love your recommendations if you have any!
I only got a few pages into this book before I had to flip to the front and check the date it was originally published. Since this book was written in 1965, the way it describes hospital births is very much outdated. Even so, it was fascinating to hear about how childbirth often took place in the early 20th century and see how it evolved over the years. For example, oftentimes the fathers weren’t even allowed in the delivery room. Even today, while it would be crazy not to expect a husband or father to be in the delivery room, there’s still an idea that he’s a mostly useless person in there. I love how this book brings about awareness of a husband’s supporting role and changes his role from mostly passive observer to active participant and coach.
This one came recommended by a LOT of people I trust. Even though I had heard about it for years and knew that there was a lot of New Age influence, I really didn’t know much about it until I started reading. Spoiler: there’s a lot of New Age influence. I started by reading the birth stories in the beginning. They were all positive and encouraging, but some of them felt a little out there to me. I’m currently skipping ahead to the second section of the book which is more about the physiological process of natural childbirth, which is much more helpful and informative for me. It’s definitely worth a read if you’re intrigued by natural childbirth!
This book came recommended by Emily Thomas on her wonderful blog and has a lot of solid advice on hitting developmental milestones. I started skipping around in it because I felt like it was a bit too early for me to find it useful. It would definitely be a book handy to have on the shelf when we have a little one learning to crawl around. In the meantime, I’m using it to figure out which baby gear I should register for, or as more often the case is, which I should NOT. This book was also helpful to skim before we looked at daycares, as it gave me more specific things to look for and questions to ask.
P.S. Emily has some other great recommendations on pregnancy and parenting books here.
This is another one that feels a bit too early for me to be reading without an actual child in our home yet. I’ve started skimming this one as well and plan to come back to it when our baby is a little older. It’s all about how simplifying brings about real and significant mental health benefits for your children. As I crave a simple and more minimalistic household anyways, this totally jives with me.
What pregnancy and early parenting books do you recommend?
Almost all of the books I’m reading I’ve found through recommendations. I’d love to hear what books you’ve read and found interesting, useful, or encouraging!
Friends, I am so happy to share that we’ll be having our first baby in March 2022!
While having (not to mention raising) children is no easy task, Charles and I are filled with joy and anticipation at the happy news of this pregnancy. And also maybe a little overwhelmed trying to take in just how much our lives are about to change. I thought I would take some time to answer some of the questions I’ve been getting a lot of!
How are you feeling?
At 18 weeks, I’m feeling great! The first trimester was a little different than I expected. I didn’t have hardly any morning sickness unless you count a strong aversion to meat. It didn’t make me nauseous, it just really felt akin to cooking and eating something inedible, like rubber. I was also pretty exhausted in the first trimester. I’m happy to report that the second trimester has required hardly any lunchtime naps to get me through the day.
When are you due?
My official due date is March 26th. I’m so curious to see if we end up having a March baby or an April baby!
What’s surprised you about pregnancy the most?
Honestly? The congestion! I had no idea that congestion can be a pregnancy symptom, but I got it bad. For me, it was just in the form of a constantly runny nose and lots of sneezing. My midwife suggested I take allergy medicine when it’s particularly bad. It’s definitely not allergies that I’m suffering from, but I’m happy to report that it does help clear me up! And the congestion is much better now that I’m in my second trimester. I was worried about this since Dr. Google said that it probably wouldn’t go away until two weeks after having the baby.
Are you going to find out whether it’s a boy or girl?
We sure are! It’s a girl! I had a feeling all along that it would be a girl. To be honest, it took me a while to come around to the idea since I thought having a boy would be really fun. Even so, I knew that when we met her we wouldn’t be able to imagine or want her to be anyone different. And I’m already getting so excited about the thought of having a daughter.
What are you thinking about naming her?
That, friends, I’ll have to keep to myself. We have a name picked out, but I’m also coming up with backup names just in case. What if we meet her and realize she is not, in fact, an Augusta Sapphire Smythe? 😉
Thank you so much to everyone who has shared in the excitement with us. We’re thrilled to be welcoming this new life into the world and looking forward to being grown and stretched as we begin this new journey in parenthood.
Writing “life lately” posts has always felt like a self-grandiose exercise. I mean, does anyone besides my mom want to actually read what’s been up in my life? But at the same time, I love reading old school life lately posts. And, though I don’t have any to speak of, I would love to go back and read 5, 10, and 15 year old life lately posts of my own. So in the interest of doing something future Kelsey will thank me for, I bring to you life lately.
Edited to add that I wrote this Spring 2021, but am finally adding pictures and hitting publish Fall 2021 🙂
A Moment in Time
Right now feels like a very temporary but significant moment in time for us. Charles has finished grad school and is about to start his fellowship with the NNSA. I’m still working 100% from home, though I suspect that will change in the coming months. We’re creeping up on our 4th anniversary and feeling like we’re out of the new newlywed phase. So yes, lots of potential life changes are in our future. And I am so grateful for this little moment of time we have right now.
Life lately involves lots of time with our cats
Except for a few hours out here and there, we’re home with our cats all the time. And the cats love it. Violet more so than Reggie, as Reggie tends to spend a lot more time sleeping. If we ever return to the office full time, it’s going to be rough on her.
Stepping into new roles at work and lots of video meetings
Recently I’ve taken on some new roles at work. Figuring it all out makes my work days go by much faster. I have so many video calls that it practically feels like I’m in the office. Good practice before I go back, I think.
Lunchtime sunshine sessions
Lately, I’ve made it a point to go sit outside during my lunch break to soak up some vitamin D. My current routine involves journaling, jotting down notes from the morning’s Bible reading, and reading a few pages from my current non-fiction book. Getting outside in the middle of the day has been SO energizing for me.
Reading all the books
I’ve spent a lot of time reading the last few months. This is certainly not out of the norm, but worth mentioning since it occupies so many of my hours. I read a book with my book club, books with Charles, and books on my own just for fun.
Having a favorite face mask
This feels like the most natural and obvious thing in the world, but I’m also aware of the fact that it is also (hopefully) a temporary anomaly. I like to think that in 2022 and 2023, grabbing a face mask before I head out the door will be the least of my worries. But for the time being, these are my favorite and what I always grab first!
It was fun recording this particular moment in time. What does life lately look like for you?
I LOVE a good book on productivity. Not because I am a super organized, productive person. Quite the opposite actually. Discipline, organization, and productivity do not come naturally to me. I have to work really hard at it, and I’m always trying to figure out how people do the things that they do. I was really intrigued hearing about Do More Better by Tim Challies.
This is the first book I’ve read about productivity from a Christian perspective. He starts off by talking about the theology of productivity, which I love. We so often forget how much the things we believe about God affect the way that we live our lives. In this book, Challies walks you through the steps to determine your areas of responsibility and let go of any of the things you don’t need to be doing. So helpful! The rest of the book is about finding the right tools. Challies recommends getting one tool for each of these arenas:
Task management
Scheduling
Information collection
Task Management Tools
He highly recommends Todoist, which I had heard about before but hadn’t really used. I decided to give it a whirl since the free version is so robust. I set it up the way Challies recommends using the “areas of responsibility” I had worked through earlier in the book and wow wow wow, I love it. My productivity skyrocketed after I implemented this tool. Having ALL my tasks in one place where I could easily prioritize the important and the urgent gave me peace of mind and the focus that I was lacking. It also helped me realize that I was biting off way more than I could chew. My frustrations in not getting “enough” done were often because I tried to do too much.
Because I’m the research-obsessed person that I am, I did a fair amount of googling other task management tools as well. Asana, Trello, Google Gasks, and remember the milk all came up a lot. I also considered utilizing the reminders/tasks app in my iPhone as well. The main consideration is that it should be something that’s fairly simple to set up and something that you’ll actually use.
Scheduling Tools
This was a tool I did not need to spend any time implementing. I already have my Google Calendar and my Apple Calendar synced. I love how Google Calendar can pull appointment suggestions from emails. For example, when the veterinarian sends an email with the next appointment, Google automatically adds it as a calendar event. Syncing it with my apple calendar makes it so that I can view those appointments (plus the address and any other info I saved) on any of my devices.
At some point I’d like to start sharing Google Calendars with Charles, but since both of us are home almost 24/7 still, there’s really no need.
Information Collection Tools
The last toolset he recommends is an information collection tool. Reading this chapter inspired me to start using Evernote again. I used it a lot in wedding planning, but haven’t used it since. I created a new free account to start fresh and plan to start saving things like tax documents, car documents, etc., there. These are things that I’ve previously saved on my computer, which I backup about twice a year. The benefit of saving them in Evernote instead is that it’ll give me more labeling and search options, but also be a more secure backup and allow me to access them from any device. Win win win.
The thing I didn’t love about this book
One thing that was incredibly distracting for me in what was overall a great book was the author’s examples in regards to women’s productivity. It was evident that he comes from a strong traditional, complementarian background. All of his examples of women involved them doing tasks at home, for their husbands, or for their children, whereas the examples he had of men’s productivity varied greatly. Even if I strongly believed in traditional gender roles, these examples would still come across as tone-deaf. What about women who aren’t married and don’t have kids? What about women who ARE married and do have kids but also lead small groups, start a book club, run a ministry, work outside the home in order to pay the bills, and so on.
I debated sharing this as an issue, as the book isn’t actually about gender roles. In the end, I decided to share because I found this distracting and it left a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth. That being said, I think it’s a fantastic book to read, particularly if you feel like your life is missing the organizational frameworks necessary to keep track of tasks, appointments, and important information.
Buying secondhand items on Facebook Marketplace is one of my favorite things. In fact, about half of the furniture we own was purchased off of Facebook Marketplace. I love it for several reasons. One, I save money AND avoid contributing to waste. Two, it gives me a lot more flexibility. If I buy something and then realize later on that it’s not working for us, I can usually resell it for the same amount or more than what I bought it for. Three, because of the cost savings, I’m able to buy higher quality items than if I were to buy them brand new.
My first few times buying stuff from other people was a little nerve-wracking. By now I’ve done it dozens of times so I thought I’d share some tips! You can read my tips for selling on Facebook Marketplace here.
I bought two of these chairs on Facebook Marketplace and sold them six months later for $20 more than what I purchased them for! They were still in great shape, they just didn’t work for us like we hoped they would. So glad I didn’t buy them new!
10 Tips for Buying Secondhand Goods on Facebook Marketplace
Have a loose idea of what you’re looking for
For example, it’s helpful to know if you want a black modern or mid-century modern dining table. Doing this will help you for several reasons! First, you’ll feel less rushed into buying something that’s not quite right and avoid the pitfall of looking for something so specific that you’ll never find it. Having a general idea of what you’re looking for will also save you a lot of time and energy in the long run. You won’t have to expend all that mental energy debating each table but instead can scroll right past all of the traditional or rustic dining tables. And perhaps the best befit: you’ll feel more confident in your choice when you do see something that you love!
Change your search radius
I quickly discovered that I needed to bring my search radius way down when we moved to the DC area. Driving 13 miles here is a whole different ball game than driving 13 miles in the midwest. Thankfully Facebook makes it easy to change your radius! Doing this might help you a lot in a search. It certainly helped me to not fall in love with items that were too far away for me to actually pick up.
Here’s where you change the delivery options on the app. Note that it might be located elsewhere on a different device or browser.
Be sure to pay attention to the delivery options
Now that Facebook Marketplace also allows you to ship to people, you have to pay attention to the delivery options.When i’m looking for something on Facebook Marketplace, Ifirst thing I always do is update the delivery options to be ‘Local Only.’ We have a great local market in our area with lots of options, and I’m usually buying things that are big enough I don’t want to pay to ship them.
Search a lot of different names
Google has us spoiled, y’all. You can search for the most random, misspelled things and usually get some decent results. Facebook Marketplace isn’t quite the same. For example, I’m looking for a day bed with a trundle to put in our office. I’ve searched things like “day bed” and “trundle” and “trundle bed” and “ikea daybed” and each search gets different results! You might want to try both “couch” and “sofa.”
Check frequently
If you are looking for something more specific, check back frequently. Earlier this year I had my heart set on an Article couch. I saw a few come up on the market but didn’t message them quick enough and lost out. Since I wasn’t really in a hurry, I started checking once or twice a day until I saw what I wanted. And now I have not one, but two Article couches living in my home.
You can use the search alerts built into Facebook Marketplace. In my experience, they’re not very effective. For some reason they don’t always work. I set search alerts for Article couches but usually found them on my own before Facebook notified me.
Make the message more personal
Beware the auto-responses from Facebook Marketplace. I used to have lots of people message me accidentally as they were scrolling, and I’ve done that a time or two as well. I can always tell if a buyer is serious if they personalize their message to me. Plus, when they seem friendly, I feel more inclined to give them a great deal.
Beware the automated messages. P.S. I kind of want to buy this sofa.
Always negotiate, unless their post specifically says not to negotiate
I’ve discovered when selling things that 90% of the people using Facebook Marketplace have the expectation that negotiations will take place. This means that sellers are usually posting things for MORE than they actually want to sell them (I do this!). It’s always worth offering a lot less than they ask. Worse that could happen is they say no and counteroffer with something higher.
Be QUICK to respond
There’s a good chance that there will be lots of other people messaging the seller about the same thing, so if you really want it, make sure you’re quick to respond. In general I’m a fan of letting go of the expectation that people respond to messages ASAP, but this is one exception. If you’re not quick, you’ll lose out.
Snoop their profile
Before I take the time to go buy from someone, I check their profile to make sure they look like a legit person and are not just trying to scam me. I check for things like their profile photo, number of friends, time on Facebook, and seller history.
Here’s an example of someone who has a trustworthy Facebook profile (with their personal information blacked out). They have a profile picture, high rating on Facebook Marketplace, and have been on Facebook since 2004.
Ask the seller for preferred method of payment
If you want, you can ask the seller what their preferred method of payment is. This can be a great idea if they’re getting a lot of interest on an item and you want to show you’re serious. Most people use Venmo, then cash, and one time I used Paypal.
Did I miss anything?
Hopefully you feel more confident in buying secondhand on Facebook Marketplace now. Are there any questions you have that I missed? Or tips that you’d like to add? Please share in the comments!
Thinking about selling something on Facebook Marketplace? I wrote up some tips for that here.
I’ve been buying and selling my stuff on Facebook marketplace for a long time now. I mean, almost for as long as Facebook Marketplace has been a thing! I even sold my car using Facebook Marketplace. And you know what? I still love it! It allows me flexibility in decorating our home, helps me to make some money on stuff we’re no longer using, and my home is much more decluttered than it would be if I were just taking things to Goodwill. I’ve scored some deals buying amazing things off Facebook marketplace, and I’ve made some money while decluttering. Wins all around! Selling your stuff on Facebook Marketplace can be intimidating the first couple of times, so I thought I’d share some tips based on my experiences!
13 Tips for Selling Your Stuff on Facebook Marketplace
Take good pictures
This is the number one tip for actually being able to sell your stuff!
Remove clutter
Have great light
Post multiple pictures from different angles
Take pictures of any damage, which leads to my next tip…
If you can, include a screenshot of the item from the website of the store you bought it from. Seeing the original price and a brand the buyer’s like can help an item sell faster
Be upfront about the condition
It wastes everyone’s time if the buyer shows up and the condition isn’t what they thought it would. They’ll feel like you’re trying to rip you off and either offer less money or back out entirely. I’ve done this as a buyer and it’s always such a pain to drive all the way to someone’s house only to find out it’s not what you expected. The added benefit of being upfront in the listing is that it helps the buyer trust you more.
List it for more than you want to sell it
Be fair. But also bear in mind that most people plan on negotiating. I’ve found that people are not going to buy unless they feel like they get a good deal, so if you list it slightly higher than what you actually want to sell it for, they’ll offer less and you’ll both feel great about it. I always price my items by searching for existing listings in my area so I have a general idea of what things go for, then adjust the price by condition, brand, quality, age, etc.
Choose your title wisely
You’ll want to make sure that whatever you’re selling shows up in as many listings as possible. Make sure that everything is spelled correctly and consider adding multiple names. For example, when we sold a small dining table, I listed it as “small birch extendable dining table or desk.” All of those words will help people find your item more easily.
If you’re comfortable with it, offering why you’re selling something in the listing can help others feel more comfortable with the purchase.
As a buyer, I love knowing why someone is selling something. Is it because it’s a terrible product and I’m going to hate it too? Or is it because they’re moving and their furniture won’t fit in their new apartment? If you share why you’re selling something, it can help buyers feel safer about the purchase.
Check out their profile
I’ve heard of very few bad experiences on Facebook Marketplace, and have only had one truly bad experience myself, but it’s always a good idea to make sure that it’s a real person that you’re talking to. Check out their profile to make sure! If it looks really spammy, that could be a red flag. You want to see if they have a profile picture, friends, and have been on Facebook for a while.
Don’t feel like you have to hold the item for the first person who offers you money.
You can say something like “first come, first serve” in the listing. I usually don’t, but if a buyer says they don’t want to pick something up for a few days and I have other offers, I let them know that I’m entertaining other offers from people who would pick it up sooner. I typically will hold items for buyers for a day or two and will send others who are interested a message along the lines of “I have someone coming to buy it tomorrow. If they don’t show I’ll let you know!” I’ve found that the further ahead you schedule a pickup date, the greater chance they are of a no-show.
Think about where you want to meet people
I typically give people the address to our condos, but not our actual unit, and then meet them outside. You can also plan on meeting people in parking lots, etc., especially if it’s a smaller item. However, if you’re planning on meeting at a neutral location, you should keep in mind the following tip…
Be prepared for people not to show up or to be late
That’s happened to me a handful of times. Things happen. That’s why, as a seller, I’m not willing to bring things to them and typically just have buyers come to where I live. Sometimes they just get stuck in traffic. Sometimes they decided they don’t want to purchase the item and are too embarrassed to tell you.
Clean your item well
It’s not a requirement. It won’t get you more money. It’s just a decent thing to do, especially in a pandemic.
Consider accepting venmo, paypal, or other money transfer options instead of cash
Some people can’t get cash out easily, and some prefer not to use money transfer services. If you’re open to multiple payment options, you’re less likely to scare off a buyer.
Let people know what to expect regarding pickup
This is more relevant if you live in a more urban environment like us. We don’t have a driveway, so I usually tell people where to park and give them a heads up that they might have to double park. You can also determine if you want to do door pickup or if you’ll bring stuff out to them. Many people are severely limiting contact and feel more comfortable having buyers just pick it up from the front door, especially for smaller or less expensive items. It requires a little trust from both the buyer and the seller. I usually just tell people to let me know when they’ve arrived and I go out to meet them with my mask on.
Join Facebook Groups to Sell Your Stuff
Most areas have local Buy + Sell groups on Facebook. Facebook makes it pretty easy to join them and they definitely help get your items viewed by more people!
Phew! I had more thoughts on selling on Facebook Marketplace than I realized!
I’d love to hear if you’ve had great success selling your stuff! Any advice you’d add to my list?
Hi, I’m Kelsey! I live in the DC area with my husband and two cats. I currently spend my days working from home, reading all the books, and enjoying home life in our new-to-us 1940s condo. Read more about me here.
